How Are the Lessons Our Parents Taught Us Holding Us Back?

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"Tell me about your childhood..."

It's a phrase that many of us dread to hear. We worry that delving into the distant past, and our early relationship with our parents, might uncover some hidden trauma that's affected us ever since. It might be something we know about and have suppressed, or it's in our subconscious and we fear having it come to the surface will have drastic consequences. So, no thank you, we're not going there.

Here's some insight I've picked up over recent months.  Firstly, let me say that the topic of childhood trauma is in the realm of psychology and psychotherapy, and as a life coach I would be reluctant to explore it too deeply.  And it's also rare. So fear not. I'm not going there.

However, there are many extremely common warnings, lessons and mantras that we all learn as children. And whilst they are mostly pretty good advice back then, if those messages have stuck with us too strongly into adult life, they can really hold us back.

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A potential consequence in adult life?

  • "Don't talk to strangers" - so we find it difficult to meet people and are awkward in social situations
  • "Look both ways, wait until its safe before crossing" - so we can't make our own decision, we stick with the easy option, we never take risks
  • "Finish your dinner, there are kids starving in Africa" - so we eat everything laid out in front of us, every time, and have problems controlling our weight
  • "Be seen and not heard" - so we never voice our opinion in business meetings, and so our good ideas never get taken on, our career potential is never fulfilled

The lessons we learn in childhood can be strongly ingrained, but like anything, if they are now holding you back, they can be successfully overridden with the right guidance. Life coaching is particularly suited for identifying these issues and providing workable solutions, so if you recognize any of this I would recommend you contemplate contacting a life coach. 

What do you think? Let me know in the comments!

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Neil Gabbie (4 reviews ) Business Coach, Executive Coach, Career Coach, Love & Relationships Coach

I'm a qualified personal coach, working with people from many backgrounds, and I specialise in helping busy men and women regain control of their lives and find that elusive work-life balance by unlocking the positive en... Read more