Both life coaches and their coaching clients need to do some healthy self-talking each day. I discovered the general value of self-talk as a girl going to school and preparing for examinations. I confirmed the psychological and philosophical value of positive self-talk as an adult.
Now as a professional coach years later, the first page I envisioned for my website was titled: Self-Coaching Tips. The idea sprung out of me automatically. This is not contrary to our life coaching template, since we do indeed insist that the client is wholesome, resourceful and knows best. The coaching client can rely on her inner wisdom. Self-talk is a necessary component of self-management and self-management is a necessary component of being a professional coach and of being a coaching client.
The life coach has to manage emotions, feelings, reactions, pattern of speech, pace of speech and the relationship between herself and each individual coaching client or group of clients. The coachee has to self-manage the boundaries between himself and his life coach, his choice of agendas and his accountability for actions taken as a result of the coaching process. Let’s look further at each side of the coin, for the professional coach and for the coaching client and I will then suggest a helping tool for reminding you if you have missed your daily dose of positive self-talk. Now remember, if you talk out loud in the presence of others, it’s called madness. However, I have done it that way to myself.
I am also a believer in the Habbukuk advice – writing it and making it plain – whatever your thoughts, objectives, goals and visions are. So combining both, you have a powerful tool for influencing your mind, to influence your brain, your actions and your outcomes.
Sometimes I write and self-talk and when the outcomes happen and when I look back I am not sure whether I am looking at a record of what happened or my projection of what I wanted to happen. They could be one and the same anyway. So be careful to date your written-self-talk, since you can’t depend on your memory to do that. As a professional life coach you can self-talk a number of things, of course with a good dose of imagination as well as of spiritual vibrations, which we will not get into now.
For the professional life coach
Here are some suggestions of what you can talk yourself into and create:
- Your first professional coaching session (for new life coaches)
- Your first big-paying coaching client encounter when you ask for the coaching fees you deserve
- Your first group coaching session in the i.e. library hall
- Your next tele-class coaching session when 100 persons have signed up
- Your next meeting with that executive who is skeptical about executive coaching
In your self-talking and imagining you already have the positive results under your belt, so why would you go back over it and rehash fear and doubt? If you are tempted to do that, rehearse the scenes again as if in replay or ask your own life coach to walk you through the way you saw it all playing out.
For the Coaching Client
Overcome your fear and self-judgment by mentally rehearsing and then airing the scenario you feel so ‘weak’ about with your professional coach:
- The truth about why you don’t want to change jobs
- What you will really say in your next job interview
- The steps you know you must take to get your business started in six months
- How you will begin to behave to manage conflict in your office
- How you will plan and stick to your plans to save money
It is obvious that for every challenge, obstacle and threat, there are scenarios within our reach to select, to determine the outcome we choose. We know that no outcome is a ‘done deal’. The time and energy we project making the feared outcome so real that it stifles and depresses us, are the same time and energy we can use in self-talk, writing our reality into production and in mentally rehearsing the better and more ideal outcomes. Professional life coaches and clients can work on this and each will support the achievement and satisfaction they are envisaging in their immediate future.
The manual you develop will be based on your own experience with self-talk, replacing self-doubt and chronic ‘I can’t see that happening’. Need help with your manual? Why not create your personal Self-Talk Monitoring and Motivational Chart and edit it daily? There is more power to this than you can imagine.
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments!