I often work with people who are dealing with strong inner conflicts. Inner conflicts occur when you cannot decide what you really want! For example, one part of you wants to smoke but another wants to be healthy, or perhaps one side of you wants to return home but the other wants to stay where you are… this list could go on forever. Through coaching, I can guide you towards finding the right path for you and guide you towards solving your own inner conflict to be able to make decisions that are truly aligned with your inner values!
Your two opposing sides should not clash with each other inside because this can lead you to disease or addictions, such as an unhealthy reliance on alcohol or drugs. You need to hang on to each differing side of you – the one who wants something and the other who does not – and tackle each opposing side one at a time. You want to bring your two opposing sides together in harmony.
I once had a coaching client who wished to work on their fear of flying – one side of her wanted to travel by plane but an opposing side of her did not. Here is an exercise that I taught her that could also help you to deal with your inner conflict.
Find a comfortable position and remove everything that does not give you peace and quiet. Close your eyes… Now focus on the side that you want to work on first. Spread you palms and assign each side of your conflict to each hand. Let’s call each side of your inner conflict Left Hand and Right Hand.
In your Left Hand is your desire to fly! You want to visit another country or perhaps you desire freedom, fulfilment, adventure and confidence. In your Right Hand is your fear. Here is perhaps your desire to live in safety, protection, comfort and relaxation. You want to bring the two sides together to create a balance, and when you do you may find plenty of surprises. The behaviour in your mind is because the conflict is coming from a pace of fear instead of trust. You must find courage to face your fear to reach your true self and save yourself from following the desires that are based on fear. By conditioning the mind you can learn to let go of the lower “wants” and go with your true desire.
By finding out your true desires and discovering your real identity you will be able to filter out the conflicting beliefs that do not fit in with the true you to guide you on how you should be dealing with inner conflicts. Listen to and feel your body – integrate both sides and notice in the following days that there will be a shift in your inner beliefs that will signal the fading of your inner conflict.
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments!